UP: Faerie Tale Theatre

Shelley Duvall's: Faerie Tale Theatre

 

As if I didn't already love her enough after playing the roles of Olive Oyl in Robert Altman's Popeye, Brewster's girlfriend in Brewster McCloud and Sissy Spaceks' object of affection in 3 Women, the next thing I knew - my tiny hometown got Showtime, and lo and behold - there is Shelley Duvall in all her glory, eager to teach me about fairy tales. I'm sorry? Is there anything better in life? Fairy tales? Who doesn't love fairy tales? Come on ... who doesn't love Shelley Duvall? Just ... come on ...

 

 

 

This was a weekly series and anyone who grew up during the early 1980s should remember. My big draw (besides Miss Duvall's introduction to every episode) were all the guest stars. I was a pop culture addict all the way back then, and each of these hour-long tales were stuffed with the creme de la creme of television deliciousness. You also never knew who was gonna turn up where - and don't forget ... they're acting out beautiful rendered versions of some of our most cherished fairy tales.

 

 

"Hello, I'm Shelley Duvall and welcome to Faerie Tale Theatre."

 

When it dawned on me to write about something as well established and well adored as this television series, I wasn't sure how I should approach it. There are twenty-six individual stories we could break open and devour. Who would want to read 400 pages of that, though? Then I thought I would simply retreat to the familiar format and select my favorite five episodes, all countdown style. That's what I'm going to do - but it was by no means easy. Was I selecting them based on how much I loved the particular story involved? Was I selecting them based on who the stars were? Was I selecting them based on chronological airdates, seasons or production values? When I cracked open the booklet and started reading off exactly what was included (and who starred in each episode), I realized I was basically approaching the entire decade of the 1980s with a magnifying glass. So I took a step back and remembered being twelve years old, face full of Doritos and watching my old VHS copies of these. Then it was easy...

 

**Honorable Mention**

 

(1/2) "THE BOY WHO LEFT HOME TO FIND OUT ABOUT THE SHIVERS" (Episode 307): Starring: Peter MacNichol, Christopher Lee, Vincent Price and Frank Zappa. I'll admit that during the initial run of the series - this one creeped me the hell out. I didn't like it. I didn't buy it on VHS and it wasn't until years later when I realized how un-cool I was not to like this episode that I checked it out anew. I'm glad I did. It's the oddest, darkest and weirdest of all twenty six episodes of FTT. Peter MacNichol I was familiar with, and I enjoyed his performance as a kid who sets out in search of the feeling of fright. I liked the things trying to give him the shivers. And enter Vincent Price and Frank (mfking) Zappa! This episode is much heavier than any other - but I believe that's why it developed a mini-cult following. After you see all the others in this list, check this one out for a new spin.
 

 

(2/2) "THE THREE LITTLE PIGS" (Episode 401): Starring: Billy Crystal, Jeff Goldblum, Doris Roberts, Fred Willard, Stephen Furst and Valerie Perrine. This is cuteness as hard, raw and beautiful as cuteness gets. The costumes and makeup are just - hilarious. This episode was a big time favorite of mine back in the day. This came out in the series fourth season, so they had more cash to play with and it really shows. The different houses of the little piggie pig pigs are so precious you kinda want to reconstruct them in your backyards. Goldblum's costume as the Big Bad Wolf is seriously ... one of the best in the history of the show. Not only that - those pig snouts are something I've been envious of my entire life. I still want one. I want one forever.

 

5) "PINOCCHIO" (Episode 303): Starring: Paul Reubens, James Coburn, Carl Reiner, Michael Richards, Vincent Schiavelli, Lanie Kazan and James Belushi. You should probably assume that I'm the world's biggest Pee-Wee Herman fan, so naturally - when Paul Reubens played Pinocchio, I was all 'bout it bout it. This is old school. Pre-Pee-Wee-Reubens delivers a fantastical performance as a character we all know well. This is a good example of how FTT sticks with the original source material (rather than the more familiar Disney versions of things), and gives its audience the dark side of the stories as well. I especially love the scenes with Reubens and Reiner (as Gepetto) inside the whale. This is one of the highlights of the third season. These people knew what they were doing, they had hit their stride and were off on a whirl when it came time to film this episode of FTT. Cherish it. See it. Adore it in all it's giggly goodness.
 

 

4) "GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE BEARS" (Episode 301): Starring: Hoyt Axton, John Lithgow, Carole King, Tatum O'Neal and Alex Karras. This one belongs in the "cute" category. With two of my all-time favorite ladies, Tatum and Carole - this familiar story is in leagues with the Three Little Pigs when it comes to costuming, acting, cuteness, and makeup. The third season episodes are all exemplary contenders and Goldilocks holds her own. You can still see traces of Tatum in Little Darlings in this episode as she was young and spunky as Hell. Also, let's reiterate the fact that Hoyt Axton is in this one. To those of you who are unfamiliar - Hoyt Axton was the best thing about watching television from about 1970 until 1987. His voice, his face - he was America's favorite Dad. He assumes the Dad role once again and blows it out of the water. You'll see this one more than once. It's also a favorite for kids under the age of five. I think it's the shiny colors. It might be the porridge.
 

 

3) "THE TALE OF THE FROG PRINCE" (Episode 101): Starring: Robin Williams, Teri Garr, Rene Auberjonois, Michael Richards and Eric Idle. The pilot episode. I've probably seen this one more than any other episode solely because it was syndicated to death, always available on VHS so what I'm really saying is - by the time I was 13, I could recite it. This tale was directed by Monty Python star, Eric Idle and is one of the sweetest of the stories in the series. When I was young, I'd never heard of this fairy tale. Robin Williams and Teri Garr's performances won me over and renewed my fascination in tales of olde. The special effects (shrinking Robin Williams into an annoying little froggy loud-mouth) look raw and pitiful by today's standards - so overlook that and let yourself enjoy the product of a whole bunch of people who put their hearts, souls and wallets behind trying out a new idea - modernizing and filming fairy tales for the snooty culture of the 1980s public. It worked. Because of the success of this (and the second and only other episode of the first season), Shelley Duvall got her dream and the series won a slot on Showtime for the next four years. It's that good.
 

 

2) "JACK AND THE BEANSTALK" (Episode 204): Starring: Dennis Christopher, Elliott Gould, Jean Stapleton, Katherine Helmond, and Mark Blankfield. Let it be known - if Jean Stapleton is in something, I love that something more than my own flesh. I've watched the everloving Hell out of this episode. Every-single-thing about Jean Stapleton as the Giant's wife, completes my soul. She is hysterically funny. Dennis Christopher is perfection as Jack. Katherine Helmond is at an all-time Who's The Boss-y high as Jack's mother. And then there was Gould. The fee-fi-fo-fumming Giant that we all know and love, who else could have nailed it so ultimately that from that point on, everytime you hear or see an adaptation of this story - you picture Elliot Gould's face. That nose. Those warts. Now - back to Jean Stapleton. You guys know I love her, right? As I type this, the episode is playing and some of the best moments of television history can be captured in the subtle snorts and spats that this woman slurs out in the role of the cantakerous wife. You owe it to the fact that you eat beans to see this episode. It's hard to beat. So hard ...
 

 

1) "RUMPELSTILTSKIN" (Episode 102): Starring: Ned Beatty, Shelley Duvall, Paul Dooley and Herve Villechaize. The second (and only other) episode of season one, this humdinger stars my girl Shelley and my Forbidden Zone star Herve in the absolute best episode of the entire six season run. The value and quality is just as cheaply done as the other episode from the pilot season (The Tale of The Frog Prince) however; it doesn't even f*cking matter. That's how great this is. To see Herve Villechaize play Rumpelstiltskin is indescribable. Shelley Duvall as his tormented captive - also ... one of her finest roles. It simply never gets better than this. Devoted and loyal to the original Grimm Brothers story - this hour-long tickler feels more like a solid twenty minutes. I've seen it more than any other. Back in the original days when this series debuted on VHS, it came either in single episode cassettes. I owned this one from the age of thirteen until today, so I guess you can say I'm a lifer for Rumpelstilskin - as you will be once you see it the first time.