Unappreciated: Russ Meyer

Russ Meyer

 

Ha cha cha cha, y'all! If you're in the G-rated category, you should just go right ahead and stop reading this blog entry because I'm about to dive into one of the most fascinating figures in 20th century filmmaking, Russ Meyer. The King of the Nudies!

Have you ever been sitting around, enjoying a nice pornographic film and thought to yourself - Hey, what did they do in the days before porn? Hopefully, this swim in Meyer pond will help answer that question...mostly since...he's the one responsible.

You have to trip back in time and remember how America was during the 1950's. The sensibilities of the general movie going public were pretty Donna Reed-ish. Frilly dresses, coiffured do's and all men wore ties, jackets and chain smoked. Television, films and music reflected an innocence as the country tried to mend itself after WWII. That caused a problem - there was nothing salacious to lure in the dirty minded minions. You can go decade by decade in films and everywhere you'll find a flash of skin, a glimmer of thigh-meat, a peek of boobie...just not in the 1950's. We were all busy purifying ourselves - and then came Russ.

Learning the skill of operating a camera by filming docu-dramas during the war, Russ returned to the west coast with his dirty mind and a new hobby. He wanted to produce/direct a new brand of film geared especially toward adults. He wasn't remotely concerned with making art, he wanted cash and lots of it - and boy...did he hit the nail on the head.
You've heard of blaxsploitation, sexploitation, and all the other sploitations. You can thank Russ for all those. It was, after all - his idea to make a film solely for the purpose of showing off one particular aspect that people would flock to due to their hunger for filth. His first attempt was The Immortal Mr. Teas (1959), while a great flick - is nowhere near what he would accomplish further down the road.

It was a tough call selecting a mere five titles to include. My close, personal friendship with some of the stars, crew and (yeah even ex-Mrs. Meyer herself) friends that worked to create these films led to some biased choices - but hey, you don't have to be here, yanno?

Also - I'd like to mention (brag/boast/jeer) that outside of a few of the stars from his films and his widow (and co-producer) Eve, I own the largest collection of Russ Meyer films in the known universe. That's right. I got them all. Take that, collectors of cult classics!

**Honorable Mention** "LORNA" (1964): Believe it or not, Lorna is considered the world's first "sexploitation" film. This film marks the end of Meyer's "Nudie" period (these films all feel like documentaries to me, very clinical and oh, by the way - here's a boobie). Lorna is the first of Russ' movies to actually have a coherent storyline holding together the glimpses of flesh. The actors aren't really as bad as you would expect. Lorna Maitland does some really amazing running, flopping around in shallow ponds and scampering in this movie. If you like watching giant breasted women frolic in cheap costumes across sandy backlots supposed to resemble "the desert" - then this movie is for you! Not the greatest movie in the Meyer canon, but to me - it's where you should begin.

5) "UP!" (1976): I swear to God, if I could get through this movie just one time without breaking a rib cackling at Kitten, I'd feel like I've accomplished something with my life. This is (by far) the most ridiculous of Russ' films. I'm not even sure where you begin to list off all the ways. Gay Hitler who likes to be whipped? Prosthetic penises that drag the ground...but are supposed to be believable? Oh, I know - how about Kitten Natividad buck naked, straddling a tree limb while quoting Ovid? Not enough for you - there's also lots of shallow ponds, running and frolicking in this one too. If you want to see a Russ Meyer film and catch him at his most hilariously-stupid, this is the one you want. I wish I could explain this movie. It stars Margot Winchester (aka Raven De La Croix), who is currently living a beautifully peaceful life on her ranch in Arizona. She seldom comments on her days with Russ with me as she's living a different lifestyle now but she still retains the magic and mystery that made her a star back in '76. Her performance is the one shred of salvaging grace to be found in Up! The rest...I just don't even know. It's that wacky...

4) "MOTORPSYCHO" (1965): Kaboom! This is (in my opinion) the sequel to FPKK in that now - we've got the guys terrorizing the countryside. Instead of hot-ass sports cars, they're on hot-ass motorcycles. Other than that, these two movies compliment each other like two sides of a dime. This was a historic movie in that it created the "marauding biker" flicks that went wild during the 60's/70's. It spawned a rock group (of the same name), and allowed Russ to make a ton of cash to fund his next wave of hits. The plot is pretty generic. Bikers kill an old man, his wife teams up with a (oddly) helpful veterinarian (yeah, no idea) to hunt them all down and MAKE THEM PAY! You know the story. You've seen it done to death. Revenge, hunting, vendetta, Hell's Angels. You've seen it to death but you seen where it all began? Try Motorpsycho for your viewing pleasure. You'll get a little dusty, but you're sure to laugh so hard a little pee comes out.

3) "MUDHONEY" (1965): Thus begins the core. The holy trinity of exploitation films, Mudhoney. What's not to love here? Russ was on top of his game. His editing is sharp enough to cut your thumb on, his casting...seriously, an explosion of awesomeness will happen on your screen once you see the performances in this one. The story, while still plodding through genericville (because the story doesn't matter you silly geese - it's all about the running, frolicking and shallow ponds, okay?) is actually fairly enjoyable. Lorna Maitland shows up in this one as does Hal Hopper, the nastiest cuss ya ever did see. I don't think this film was meant to be funny - it just is. It's dated, it doesn't hold up well in 2013...but who cares about that crap? Sit back, lower your expectations waaaaaay down and enjoy this trip to rural Missouri with Russ and the gang. This movie is mandatory viewing for people who visit my home. Sometimes willingly, sometimes not - either way, if you spend time with me...you're gonna see Mudhoney. There is no escape, resistance is futile.

2) "VIXEN" (1968): History! The world's FIRST X-Rated movie! Why? I have no idea. If you read the old reviews on this movie, they call it soft-core porn. Huh? I have to wonder if they're seeing a different cut of this movie because in 2013, this is barely a PG-13. Hell, all of Russ' films are in the same bracket. However ridiculous - it's a fact. Vixen was the first X-rated film in the world. It's also a source of frustration for me because deep down in my filthy little heart - it's number one. I love Vixen. I love the star, Erica Gavin. I am proud to consider myself a friend of this beautiful creature and her role in this movie is one of my all time favorite roles in all movie history. Nothing is greater than Vixen (ignore what I say in the next post). She completes me. The fish dance ... the fish dance. Think about the reasoning behind something like that scene. Objective: seduce dinner guest. Setting: dinner, grilling out. Best way to accomplish said objective? Take a dead fish, deep throat it, then cram it in your cleavage and jiggle around all sexy-like. Win! It also spawned two sequels that weren't nearly as funky - but worth checking out if you become accidentally obsessed like I did.
The budget on this film was $67,000. The film grossed $22,000,000.
Let that sink in for a minute...
And as if that weren't enough - the one-liners from Vixen should be bronzed. What a racist, sick, nasty, twisted freak she is...I LOVE HER! I cannot spoil this movie for those who have yet to experience it. I can, however say - Vixen is not a fan of equal rights. She doesn't mind much, she's even down with incest ... just don't make her share a seat with a black man. God forbid! Just wait 'til you see how the sparks fly ... oh wait, those aren't sparks - that's just Vixen gettin' jiggy with it!

1) "FASTER PUSSYCAT, KILL! KILL!" (1965): Here she is boys, one of my dearest bff's of the past twenty years - the legend, the legacy, the woman herself - Ms. Tura Satana! Donning the role of Varla, Tura made my life change numerous times. I'd first heard of this movie through stalking out anyone and everyone who'd inspired director John Waters, but rural NC was not the place to find obscure "drive-in" classics - so I abided and I endured...and then I met Tura.
There are reams of write-ups about the movie itself. I won't bore you with redundancy. I can just say that FPKK should be restored and included in the Library of Congress. It's an important movie, not just for indie film buffs but for females everywhere. This movie was the first time in film history you had three BEAUTIFUL women...who knew they were beautiful...and would flirt heavily...while stomping your ass for looking. Tough girls. Leather broads. Bad bitches on the prowl. It had never been done before until Tura, Lori and Haji got together in the desert of southern California and created a classic. Such an important movie in so many regards, it's pointless to discuss. Whether you're a fan of bad movies or not - this demands to be seen. If you live a life without Tura, you failed. That's all I'm saying.

I miss Tura. I hope she's spinning her tassels and high-kicking somewhere heavenly until we meet again.



Unappreciated: R.W. Fassbinder

Rainer Werner Fassbinder

 

It's true, I have a weakness for crazy people. Especially if the crazy person is capable of producing a body of work the likes of which the world has never encountered. And definitely if it ends with the crazy person being gunned down in a mysterious death scenario that still goes unanswered in 2013. Are you kidding? What's not to love?!

 

Have you met my friend, R.W. Fassbinder? We share initials, so we're very close. He's not much to look at - but boy, could he make a movie like nobody's business!

 

 

When you study film, you study everything. You may have even heard his name mentioned in passing, but the facts surrounding Fassbinder are remarkable. In fifteen years - Fassbinder wrote, directed, edited, produced, (often starred in) and publicized FORTY FEATURE LENGTH FILMS.

 

That's right, I said 40. As in, more than Spielberg and Hitchcock put out in their lives - Fassbinder shot them out in fifteen years. Of COURSE, he was on cocaine. Who cares? The forty features created by this man are (hands-down) masterpieces of cinema. So much so, it's often quite difficult to select his crowning achievements because almost every film is flawless. There are no lulls. It's all slam dunks. In selecting my top five - I basically pulled all my DVDs onto the floor and threw darts at them. I have 40 favorites. Here are the five that fate deemed worthy.

 

 

5) "Querelle" (1982): The final film from a legend. Released posthumously, Querelle would go on to become Fassbinder's best known feature. Can I just add - there aren't many films that are any gayer than this. Get a load of that original poster art, why don'tcha? Nasty...just nasty...but artistic as hell!
True: Fassbinder liked men. True: he was into kinky BDSM stuff and barrels full of cocaine. What he produced as he faded was (possibly) the best adaptation of a Jean Genet novel ever put to film. It's not for everyone. You have to have a lot of patience, a strong stomach and enjoy seeing phallic imagery in every shot. This is not the best Fassbinder film, but it is a punctuation mark at the end of a whirlwind of creativity. A great big exclamation point of penises.

 

 

4) "World On A Wire" (1973): Made for TV means something completely different in Germany. I learned that lesson from watching World On A Wire. At no point do you get the impression that this was made for television. Then again - I'm corrupted as an American. When someone says "Made for TV" to me - I picture cheap production values, B-list celebrities and poorly filmed soap operas. In Germany (as it was in most of Europe), a movie for TV was every bit as powerful as the ones released in theaters. This is a classic example of this trend. World On A Wire is a wildly inventive science fiction trip into the future. Inspiring other sci-fi hits (Ridley Scott knows what I'm talking about), this film was impossible to find for many years up until recently when Criterion did a bang-up job on the restoration. It's long. Long as hell, actually - but oddly enough, you don't really feel as if you've been sitting there for 5.5 hours when it's all over. No...I'm serious! Ugh, I'm so tired of you snickering like that...let's move on.

 

 

3) "Berlin Alexanderplatz" (1980): Talk about Made for TV and long - kaboom! You won't sit through this in one afternoon...or a week. This miniseries, adapted from the classic German novel, was a 14 part miracle that was very dear to Fassbinder's heart. A pet project, he insisted upon making this epic work. No one stood in the way of the wunderkind. This is not the finest hour in Fassbinder's career, but it's so damn good it doesn't even make sense. I'm a sucker for long movies - and this one satisfies the Hell out of me. The ten DVD box set is so beautiful, everyone needs this movie in their collection, whether you like dry, long winded, bland, foreign films or not. The gist of this story follows a man as he is released from prison and trying to make a new life for himself while being tugged back into his old ways by his returning friends. A simple story told between the two World Wars, Berlin Alexanderplatz captures the Weimar era and shines a spotlight into the gentle soul of a weary citizen, allowing us to enjoy his misery decades later. Who wouldn't love this?

 

 

2) "Fox & His Friends" (1975): Now when I think "Fassbinder," I think of this film. It is a rarity for a director to stamp his mark onto a film in such a distinct manner, but in Fox And His Friends captures everything there is to love about a Fassbinder film. The acting (yeah, he stars) is raw, angst-riddled and natural. The setting is so real, you feel damp from the rain after the 90 minutes is over. The editing, angles, tracking shots - are all composed with the eye of a man who's been behind the camera for far longer than Fassbinder. It's uncanny to watch his movies and think - he had no knowledge of what he was doing. Seldom do you see someone come out of nowhere, attack a medium of art and own it so completely that they alter it for all those to come. Fassbinder did it. Also - this has the best ending of any of his films. Trust me. It's beautiful in a gritty, stinky, perverted, subway riding kind of way.

 

 

1) "Ali: Fear Eat Soul" (1974): Oh snap! Now this is what I'm talking about! Starting with the title, there is a little confusion as it appears to read as grammatically incorrect. This is on purpose. The original German title is grammatically incorrect and translates to: "Fear Eat Soul Up" which isn't that catchy in America. When it debuted here in the US, the title was changed to "Ali: Fear Eat Soul" keeping the grammatical burp, while clarifying it loosely by adding the main character's name. Ali, in the film, is an immigrant who speaks in broken German - so the title of the film, as he would have said it - is perfectly suited and NOT a mistake.

The subject matter of this story is why it will always remain my all time favorite. Brigitte Mira stars as Emmi. If you've never seen this woman act, I feel sorry for you. She's delicious, humble, charming, heart-wrenching, kind, grandmotherly and spunky as hell. Probably my favorite German actress of the 20th century, this is her finest performance. She snubs her nose at her racist, old-school friends and family and embarks on a late-in-life romance with Ali, a Moroccan immigrant. Be prepared for nudity. As in most Fassbinder films, the tallywhackers are waggling a-plenty, but behind the surface - you are left with a very powerful message about what really matters in relationships with others. We should all aspire to be half as accepting as Emmi and the world would be a much better place. Fassbinder had it right in 1974, now when are the rest of us gonna catch up?

 



Unappreciated: Buster Keaton (Part 2)

Buster Keaton

 

Welcome back, masochists and film buffs. I figured I would only do this one time so I may as well do it right, right?

Since it was virtually impossible for me to continue my trend of "Top Five" - I had to go whole hog here. I will apologize in advance for the length of this but it needed to be done. Each of Keaton's nineteen independent shorts are listed below in chronological order. Below each one is the full video so that you can select which ones you'd like to watch ... and watch 'em!

 

Before you start, here's the run down on how maddening his speed was during this prolific period (Fassbinder ain't got nothin' on Buster!):

1920 - 4 short films, 1 feature film (The Saphead/MGM)

1921 - 6 short films

1922 - 7 short films

1923 - 2 short films, 2 feature films (The Three Ages, Our Hospitality)

 

 

PART TWO: THE SHORTS

1) "THE HIGH SIGN" (1920): Buster plays an unnamed hero in a stereotypically common short. This was his first as an independent filmmaker and reeks of Fatty Arbuckle (which clearly must smell of sardines, bourbon and bondage). In his biography, Keaton explains that this was his least favorite of all his short features for the same reason. Some of the gags, however; are still pretty hilarious. My favorites being: the newspaper, the shooting gallery, that labyrinthian house with trap-doors, hidden walls and collapsible pipes ... oh, and that cute-ass dog. I'll admit, occasionally I'll do the high sign myself in public. No one gets it. Also worth mentioning - pay close attention around the halfway mark. You'll see Buster Keaton nearly get shot in the face by a rifle. Good times, Buster. Good times.

2) "ONE WEEK" (1920): Most likely one of Keaton's best remembered shorts, One Week is definitely not to be overlooked in a hurry to get to the features. Upon first release, audiences hailed this film as a comedic masterpiece. It went on to establish the career of Buster Keaton, transforming him from bit player into star. In this two-reeler, Keaton gives us the classic example of the style of films he would be making for the rest of his career. One of the most memorable moments is that house he builds. On an engineering standpoint - it shouldn't even stand up, yet somehow Keaton (who had a gift for math) was able to create a lazy Susan to allow the entire structure to spin like a top?! It has been recreated by The International Buster Keaton Society to prove that it was possible. Also of notice - this film contains the first glimpse of Keaton's most famous stunt which he repeated in Steamboat Bill, Jr. He was kind of into having houses collapse around him, I suppose. If I were making a top five list of Buster's shorts, this would be in there. It flies by, it's hilarious, it evokes guffaws from all ages and (in some places) defies nature and common sense.

3) "CONVICT 13" (1920): The surviving prints of this two-reeler from 1920 are a bit splotchy, so it requires a vast amount of love to watch this third film from Buster Keaton. As he was wrapping up his first feature for MGM (The Saphead), Buster was tirelessly filming/writing/editing/producing his own shorts. Some were hit, some were miss. To me - this one is a little more forgotten than the rest. There are plenty of great gags, as any Keaton film - but to me, it seems to rely on some that he invented in his vaudeville era with his parents, thus "stealing the thunder" of what made Buster great to me. One particular moment to look out for is the basketball gag his father and he performed back when Buster was only six years old. While his father shaves, Buster twirls his convict ball around his head, coming closer and closer to the guy with the straight razor poised beside his jugular, in Convict 13 he uses it to knock out a yard full of guards. You can dismiss this by saying, "Oh, it's just the movies - he's not really clubbing those people in the head like that," but ... in the case of a Keaton film, he was really doing this. People were often hurt on set, mostly him but still...who wants to do these things? Convict 13 is further proof that Buster Keaton wasn't entirely sane ... which is further proof why he's a star. Don't hate - appreciate.

4) "THE SCARECROW" (1920): 1920 was a big year for Mr. Keaton. Transitioning from bit player next to Fatty Arbuckle, being signed to a contract with J. Schenck as well as starting his own production company and completing The Saphead for MGM, he still managed to find time to crank out the fourth two-reel comedy in his first year. This is a very poignant Keaton film. He courts the hell out of his leading lady, eventually capturing her in the end. Some folks go so far as to say this (along with One Week & The Boat) comprise a trilogy of Keaton short films, all with the same leading lady - Sybil Sealy. I can see that and I'd even agree if it weren't for the fact that I really believe had Keaton wanted to make this into a feature - he would have. This two-reeler does feel like a portion of something larger. Perhaps its just the booming fame that was coming just around the corner in Keaton's career - I'm not really sure. This is a particularly salacious short. Watch it. You'll see what I'm talking about with my dirty mind...

5) "NEIGHBORS" (1921): Oh my God - how adorable is this? A definite precursor to some of his later classics (Our Hospitality, Spite Marriage, The General), this short is one that is often overlooked and I'm not sure why. It has his father, Joe Keaton. It has his comic foil from the old Arbuckle days. It's literally riddled with some of the most inventive sight gags ever filmed. Nearly everyone smokes. His porkpie hat is finally a fixture. He leaps across that alley (again) like a monkey in heat. And on top of all that, it's funny as hell. My favorite moments are - Keaton's "barrel" gag, a reprise of something they used to do on stage, the drain pipe, the fence, the politically incorrect presense of black-face, a glimpse at Babe Ruth at Yankee Stadium...I guess the whole damn film could be considered a favorite moment, now that I think about it. I'll shut up. Just watch.

6) "THE HAUNTED HOUSE" (1921): Aw hell, now sh*t just got real. Sometimes you have a hit, sometimes you have a miss - and sometimes you just stomp the pure Hell out of it. That was the case with The Haunted House, the two-reeler that sealed Buster as one of silent cinema's greatest comedians. All of the things that make a Keaton flick great are on full display here. The master is at full power and feeling good about himself. The bulk of this short is comprised of visual gags - some that even cannot be explained nearly one hundred years later. It's just full-out stupid how great this short ditty is. This would definitely appear in my top five of all time list just based on the inventiveness alone. This is one of the Keaton shorts that I've shown to children as young as 4 or 5 and they found it as breathtaking as I did. It stands the test of time, it's pungent with the sense that a auteur is in complete control of his medium and it fills the heart with promise for greater adventures yet to come. Know what's stupid? Critics hated it, they tried to pan it and say horrible things like "its just two one reel shorts, held together by a flimsy plot," and other nasty lies. To me, I smell Sherlock, Jr. all over this film and that's reason enough to celebrate it. Now...celebrate...
When you're done - can someone please tell me how the hell he made that cane hang upside down on the wall like that? No one seems to be able to explain defying gravity like that...

7) "HARD LUCK" (1921): The last short to be found, this two reeler was considered lost up until a few years ago - so you should probably overlook how horrible it looks. You know they filmed this stuff on flammable plastic, right? Raymond Rohauer spent his life trying to find and restore each of Keaton's films. This one gave him the hardest time and was located in the attic of an old theater owner's granddaughter...in France. The fact that one person held the key to a "lost" film by one of cinema's greatest masters...baffles my brain meat. Imagine having the missing key to Keaton's lexicon getting dusty in the attic? Lord...some people...

This was also one of Buster's favorite shorts and he considered this to have one of his funniest gags of all time, which is why it was so frustrating that no one could see it. Thank God for that lady in France. Thank God for the Rohauer team who painstakingly took time and money to restore this classic in an era when most people thought silent films were crappy-doodie. Hard Luck was a close call - but it's back and one of the best examples of Keaton's incredible work both in front of as well as behind the camera.

 

 

 

 

8) "THE GOAT" (1921): This isn't about a goat. Let's just start there. Oh, Deadshot Dan, why are you so crazy? This is a simple setup - mistaken identity. I'm not sure what Buster was trying to do with The Goat, but he is clearly stuffing this film with as many gags as humanly possible. You'll see glimpses from other films: notably, the chase scene from Seven Chances, the line gag from Tars and Stripes, and when Buster comes rushing up seated on the front of that train (which stops on a dime, not too easy in 1921) makes me scream. He injured himself by a fall from the top of the truck in this short and was out of commission for three days, only to return to the set and leap, jump, spin and bounce better than before - with a broken ankle. Yeah, Buster didn't play. This is considered by critics to be one of his best. I'd say it's in the top ten. I'm controversial like that.

 

 

 

9) "THE PLAYHOUSE" (1921): This would probably be my number one. Not solely because it's still funny as Hell - but because in The Playhouse, Buster did something that had never been done on screen before. Not only did he break the waves, he torpedoed them into oblivion. If you've already seen this - you know what I'm talking about. If not - do you have any idea how hard it was to have a side-by-side image (double exposure) of yourself in a film? Imagine the impeccable timing it took to play off of yourself like that. Hard right? Buster said the same thing...only when it came time to actually create this magical element - he went crazy. He doesn't just double himself. He quadruple-sextuples himself, plays every instrument in the orchestra, dances in a kick line, composes the entire audience ... and never misses a single time cue? How the...

This movie is so good it will make you mad. Period.

 

 

 

10) "THE BOAT" (1921): Damn if I know what Keaton was attempting here. Oh wait a minute - DAMFINO was the name of The Boat! Scaaaandalous! This is a fantastic short. This short begins with Buster (literally) ripping an entire beachfront home down to its foundation then goes on to drop a car into the ocean - dang Buster, stop wasting money. In The Boat, the boat is as much of a character as Keaton. This short would be my number two. It also goes very well as a companion to The Navigator, if you want to get really geeky about things. When that pole pops him on his head and knocks him off the boat, into the water - you know that had to hurt. Also - how about Buster swimming and actually catching up with a speeding boat? Well, well, well - ain't we just Mr. Splashypants! I didn't even think humans could do that, once again - mind: blown.

 

 

 

 

 

11) "THE PALEFACE" (1922): Well, Hell yeah it's racist - but only by 2013 standards. Back in 1922, this was a hilarious two reeler from the captain of comedy. Who's that fancy lady starring alongside you in this one, Mr. Keaton? Your soon-to-be wife? Oh, how charming - now tie her to a stick and set her on fire. That's cool. Domestic abuse charges won't be around for a few decades...may as well tar and feather her while you're at it. The Paleface is one of the few surviving shorts that still has the original intertitles - THANK YOU GOD! Gone is the bland - white writing on black background that's so synonymous with silent films. Keaton imposed the intertitles above charming little paintings, adding a charm and character to this short feature that isn't typically found in work of this stature. On a side note - as a bit of a confession: nothing is sexier than dust and debris on an old film. I just wanted to throw that out there. So there you have it ... now meet The Paleface.

 

 

 

 

12) "COPS" (1922): The classic among classics. One of Keaton's most revered shorts, this would place at number three for me. What makes this one so memorable? The cops. Simply, the cops. This short makes a nice companion for Our Hospitality but shouldn't be taken out of context. This was meant to be a serious moment in the life of Buster Keaton. He poured his heart, soul and fortune into making Cops as successful as possible - jamming as many of his classic zingers into the 18 minutes as possible. Besides being a well timed slapstick comedy and insane chase sequence - you'll also catch a glimmer of a softer side of Buster. Now, he's learning to perfect his acting so that he is believably in love with his leading lady, adding pathos to (what should be) a simple comedy. Is this the beginning of the entire romantic comedy genre? I don't know - you tell me. Some of these gags are redonkulous. The first reel slowly increases the tension until you hit the second half of the film, the chase begins - and all Hell breaks loose. This is a very endearing classic. Me likey big big. Can someone please watch this and tell me why that car doesn't jerk his arm out of socket, please. It's bugged me for years.

 

 

 

13) "MY WIFE'S RELATIONS" (1922): This is a really great example of Keaton's brilliance when it comes to selecting his supporting cast. He really pulled out the stops on this short, each member of the cast are well seasoned vaudeville players - some were Keaton's role models, some worked with the Keaton's back in the day. Watching this, you get the feeling that you're watching a group of great friends having a wonderful time - and yeah, there's a plot in there somewhere too. Also worth watching - Pal the dog returns for another appearance with Buster. How cute!! Loyalty - aww!

 

 

 

14) "THE BLACKSMITH" (1922): This film is a machine. There is no lull and it whips you right into a ridiculous classic comedy short. Filled with "boffo" gags (framing, timing, panning, editing and comic punctuation). Then the addition of his regular cast of stock players enter, kicking it up another notch. I like this one for a super geeky reason - the "heavy" is played by a man named Joe Roberts, who had recently played opposite Chaplin in some of his shorts. Keaton mocked Chaplin with his use of this character - spoofing the Chaplin short within his own. Yeah, that'll show you who's boss in Hollywood - tramp. There is a scene with a horse that I seem to remember vividly ... just watch the magic.

 

 

 

15) "THE FROZEN NORTH" (1922): Dark, dark, dark...I love this one. Cashing in on America's fascination with the frozen frontier of Alaska, Buster Keaton set his fifteenth comedy short in the place that had captured the world's attention. Instant success? No - instant flop. Relying on jokes about death, starvation and misery - Buster allowed his darker side to shine. He also didn't mince words when it came to mocking his contemporaries. Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. probably really hated this film (for obvious reasons). This short is unique because it's not quite as hilarious as his usual fare. He's killing people, making fun of dying and pretty much lingering around the darker side of comedy in The Frozen North. This film debuted during the third (and final) trial of his friend Fatty Arbuckle, thus taking some of Keaton's time - and thus, allowing his creepy side to peek out. Thank God for hookers in Hollywood. Otherwise, this parody would have never existed.

 

 

 

16) "DAYDREAMS" (1922): 1922 was a big year for Buster. If you're keeping count, you've now realized this is the twentieth film that he produced, directed and starred in during this single twelve month period. Perhaps that's why this feels so - blah. There is also a missing section of film during this short - which may be the reason for this short feeling a little less than snazzy. The first impression you are left with is - this is another cop chase? The editing seems sloppy. The acting is weak. This film consistently hits rock bottom on the list of films. Guess what though - it wasn't meant to be a two reeler, it was meant to be a three reel comedy and SO MUCH IS MISSING ... no one ever had a chance to appreciate it for what it was: a feature length comedy - not a hastily prepared short. One redeeming aspect - Joe Keaton appears again. It's always nice to see Papa Keaton.

 

 

 

17) "THE ELECTRIC HOUSE" (1922): The last film shot during the prolific 1922 period, this is possibly the last of the really bad-ass shorts by Keaton. Stop shouting at me, I can explain! In The Electric House, you almost get the sense that Buster himself is now gearing up for a life in feature films. There's a sense of hands being washed throughout this short. He stuffs it with familiar faces. He rams in some of his most famous (and innovative) tricks of the camera. He invents new technical achievements people would go on to study for the next half century - and all the while, makes a pretty funny little comedy. I'd like to add (on a personal level) I really want this house. Buster clearly has a brilliant gift for architectural design. I'm not sure why he never furthered this skill. The world needs things like retractable dinner tables, hanging dishes and trap doors in every room...or maybe that's just me. Either way - this one is in the top five. No doubt.

 

 

 

18) "THE BALLOONATTIC" (1923): This is considered one of the premier classics from Keaton's two reeler period. Eh...I'm not so sure. It's a great little comedy, true - I just didn't get the same technological wizardry in this one as I have become accustomed to recieving in my Keaton meals. I'll agree, in the pantheon of silent cinema - this is an important one, I just can't agree that it's one of Keaton's best works because I know better. Let's focus on the positive: since I'm not a really big fan of heights - he scares me in this one. I don't know what Buster was on during the filming of these films, but I wish I could get some. This little man knows no fear and nowhere can this be seen better than in The Balloonatic. Seriously...I get the shivers just watching him dangle around in the sky like that. It's nerve-wracking hilarity at its finest.

 

 

 

19) "THE LOVE NEST" (1923): And then there was one. The last of Keaton's two reel comedies, The Love Nest marked a drastic change in the life of Buster as he prepared to film his second feature length film, the American public had changed its favor. Now they wanted longer Buster, not shorts. Keaton wrapped his three year stint as director of shorts with this moving tribute to all those that had come before it. He was contracted to film twenty shorts - but the board of directors at Buster Keaton Films unanimously agreed - screw the last film, hurry up and make The Three Ages. With his competition (Chaplin/Lloyd) already whiping out feature length comedies - it was finally time for Buster to join (and seize, destroy and conquer ... okay, he didn't really do any of that, but I can pretend, can't I?). This is a great film and goes well with The Navigator as it continues the theme of Buster's endless fascination with boats and trains.

 

 

 

Now that I've finished this mammoth debacle, I will take my cue from Mr. Keaton on the proper way to exit a room:

 

One step forward.

One step back.
Tip my hat and...

RUN LIKE HELL!

 

 

Unappreciated: Buster Keaton (Part 1)

Buster Keaton

 

Never...in a million years...would I tire of talking about Buster Keaton. To those of you unfortunate enough to get the opportunity to hang out with me - you're already aware of my crippling obsession with Buster. To those of you new to the experience ... I hope you packed a lunch. You'll be here a while...

 

Why Buster? How dare you ask such a thing...Just look at that face...

 

 

There are so many reasons to admire Buster Keaton it would be senseless to break it down. What first started this lifelong addiction was a Turner Classic Movies marathon back in the late 1980's. They showed four Keaton films and followed it with a documentary about his life. That's pretty much all it took. Once I realized the spirit of independent filmmaking BEGAN with Buster, I was in love for life. If it hadn't been for Keaton - Hollywood would have floundered far more than it did. Unfortunately, Buster's accomplishments are constantly overshadowed by other comedians from the silent era. Mainly, Chaplin. I hate Charlie Chaplin for this sole reason. His advances in cinema don't even come close to what Keaton mastered, yet Chaplin gets the gold star. Keaton fought for control over his films - not once he became famous, but from the very first one-reeler with Fatty Arbuckle. As soon as he had the cash - he purchased his studio. He wrote all his films. He paid for them out of his pocket. He casted them with friends and family. He edited them alone. He produced them alone. He marketed them to depression-era America...alone. At home, while breaking the waves in Hollywood - he battled alcoholism, terrifying injuries, bankruptcy and a failing marriage. Hell, there was even a close brush with a kinky murder scandal - but let's pretend that never happened since Buster technically wasn't there. Shut up, Fatty Arbuckle fans! I'm talking here...

 

In the early days of the 1990's, I received a gift for Christmas of the entire Buster Keaton catalog. It was a heydey of happiness because up until that morning, the only Keaton films I could find were the scratchy ones they aired randomly on TCM. Now ... I had it all! Each of the VHS tapes contained one feature film and two shorts. The total on the box set gave me everything from the self-produced Keaton era. I wish I could say, I watched them and enjoyed them. What actually happened was so much more embarrassing and unnatural...so...since I share so openly, what yours truly did was a landmark in the history of OCD.

 

I went to the bookstore. I ordered everything about Keaton that was in print at that time. I read each of the books like scripture. What? That's not odd to you? Oh...I left out something.

 

I wrote to each of the authors, heartfelt pleas to help me in my quest to learn as much as I could about this mysterious, stone-faced man. One wrote back. Marion Meade sent me a two page, handwritten letter imploring me to continue, press forward, keep digging and studying the great Keaton. She gave me tips on where I could view some of the (impossible) hard to find "talkies" and stoked a fire that was already crackling.

 

To this very day, I can't hear someone talk about Charlie Chaplin or Harold Lloyd without screwing my face up in a knot. Truthfully - neither of those two comedians did crap compared to what Keaton accomplished. Chaplin (while a producer/writer/director himself) was under the thumb of MGM and Hollywood acceptabilities. He was trying to be famous. He was a sell out without the audacity that Keaton had. Lloyd doesn't even count. He was a studio monkey. He did as he was told and I don't care who says differently. Neither of these two made the advancements Keaton made, not just in the spirit of independent filmmaking - but in editing, lighting, special effects, marketing, writing...ah Jesus, it just goes on and on. Let's get into the meat of the blog now before I get overexcited, wet my pants and pass out...

 

PART ONE: THE FEATURES

 



 

5) "SEVEN CHANCES" (1925): Yeah, you've probably seen this - you just didn't realize it was Buster Keaton. Chris O'Donnell called this The Bachelor (1999), the Three Stooges even tried remaking it twice (Brideless Groom, Husbands Beware) but to me, it'll always be Seven Chances. The setup is classic. Keaton will inherit seven million dollars if he can get married by 7pm on his 27th birthday. The bride hunt begins. This is a classic Keaton zinger. The best part of this film (to me) is the chase scene at the end. I'm still not 100% sure how the hell he managed to pull it off - or live through it. It lasts far longer than you expect and becomes (life-threateningly?) ridiculous in its spectacle. The gags are potent and if you've never seen a Buster movie, this is a fantastic place to start. He hurts himself a lot in this one. Watch his little monkey-gymnast body spew out of control over the course of 56 minutes. You'll be sold. I promise. The plot and cast are as wonderful as possible. Also, keep an eye out for Jean Arthur who appears in a bit role as a telephone operator. She'd go on to become a legend in her own right. Thanks Buster!

 

 

 

4) "THE NAVIGATOR" (1924): This is considered one of Buster's masterpieces. I will agree. There is no way to replicate, imitate or explain The Navigator. I think to me, I can't get past the physical endurance it must have taken - or the fact that Buster managed to figure out how to use a camera underwater (for the first time folks) while wearing a 400lb iron suit. The scene where Rollo Treadway (Keaton) and Betsy O'Brien (Kathryn McGuire) chase each other around the rented boat - is so fun for me, I just don't know why. You just have to see it. Those two fools run around the boat for about six miles and never stop. Buster was a chain smoker - I just don't know how he did this when I can barely climb a flight of stairs. I'm also not the best swimmer, so imagining having hundreds of pounds of iron around my face while submerged twenty feet below the Pacific makes me shudder a little bit. He didn't mind. He did it for such an extreme amount of time, he got the bends. The technical advancements during the underwater segments are hard to even describe. The cannibal invasion at the end is (now, in 2013) pretty politically incorrect ... which just makes it funnier. The Navigator is one of the all time power punches in the gut of silent filmmaking. This is #81 on AFI's 100 Years...100 Laughs. It should be higher.

 

 

 

3) "STEAMBOAT BILL, JR." (1928): I swear to God - I love this movie. Not because it has Buster's most dangerous stunt EVER ... just because it's an amazing film. There are numerous moments in SBJr that I still cannot explain. The flood? The cyclone? How the hell did he fly? Was that a real house in the river? How did he just stand there while two tons of wood came down around him, leaving only a half inch to spare? Who does these things? A crazy person!

This film came toward the end of the silent era. 1929 was looming just around the corner, and Keaton thought this would be his final film before being sucked into the "talkie" phase. This would prove to be his last feature for United Artists. His last feature having control.

You've probably seen clips from this one. In all the biographies, Keaton agreed that this film held the one stunt that actually scared him. Just one. One.

So you must imagine how horrifying it had to be to have to stand there like that, not knowing if you were about to film your death - or make film history. He made film history and did something NO ONE wanted to imitate. Oh sure, they tried - but it was half-assed versions. No one had the gumption to let an entire building land on them. This is a great Keaton work. He was full of power at this point, at the top of his game as the candle began to flutter. His special effects are breathtakingly expensive, his cast are all top-drawer, the editing is as snappy as Russ Meyer (Oh, I just went there didn't I?) and the score is foot tapping.

Oh yeah, and without this one - the world wouldn't have Mickey Mouse.

Walt Disney modeled Steamboat Willie after this film, marking the debut of Mickey Mouse - so you can thank Buster for the entire career of Walt Disney now. Go ahead. I'll wait.

 

 

 

 

 

2) "THE GENERAL" (1927): Here's where my list causes controversy. How dare I put The General in the number two slot? Who do I think I am? Everybody knows - when it comes to Buster Keaton, it just doesn't get any better than The General, right?

Wrong...at least to me.

Don't misunderstand - I loveeeeeeeeeee this movie, it's just not my number one. It is, however; probably the best film by Buster Keaton for a gaggle of reasons. It's even considered one of the best films ever made. Justly.

The most expensive single shot in silent film history is in The General. The stunts Keaton performs are phenomenal. I love what he does with that (live) cannon. The timing on some of the shots are hard to even believe he captured - his mastery with comedy is indisputable and there is no human alive on earth today who can dislike this film. There's just no way. Even if you hate silent films - you'll still love The General, it's just that good.

I could rattle on for weeks about the merits of this movie, but it's been done to death. Being the most famous of all Keaton features, pretty much everyone alive talks about it at some point. I won't bore you when you're all fully capable of Googling this on your own.

The General is an amazing movie. It changed everything. It changed me and it will change you.

 

 

 

1) "SHERLOCK, JR." (1924): And here it is. My number one. Numero Uno! Some critics will agree, some will come after me with flaming torches. I don't really care. Sherlock, Jr. will always be the best Buster Keaton film of all time.

This was the first movie by Buster Keaton that I saw, way back on that fateful night in the early 1990's on TCM. It's 45 minutes long, so there's no commitment. The stunts are landmarks. You can't even explain most of these and that quick-change thing he does when diving through SOMEONE'S STOMACH is just plain stupid. The plot is hilarious and symbolic of everything about Keaton's career as a filmmaker. And then...there's the dream sequence...

Never before in a movie had a character actually stepped into a film. It broke rules. It destroyed the fourth wall. But that's not all Buster was after - he wanted to crush history. He took precise geodesic measurements, calculus got involved in order to make it appear that he was seamlessly stepping from one bizarre situation into another - all while visible on a screen in front of you. It's hard to explain. Watch it. You'll have to lift your jaw as well.

These things are simple in 2013. I can even imitate this on my computer. Buster did this in 1924. He etched effects into the film itself with his little sausage fingers. His passion for making movies is never captured as well as it is in Sherlock, Jr. (also, his personal favorite - proving I have great taste, see?)

 

 

 

Hush! I didn't forget!

 

Stay tuned for part II of this Buster Keaton marathon to see my top five choices for his short films. Yeah, this was just the features. You've got another whole blog to go before we can move past Mr. K.

 

Happy now?